


story of a boy

by highboys (orphan_account)



Category: SKET Dance
Genre: Crack, Gen, Kid Fic, Lists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-14
Updated: 2012-11-14
Packaged: 2017-11-18 15:46:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/562715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/highboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few things Bossun could have done with Tsubaki when he turned into a kid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	story of a boy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [furiosity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/furiosity/gifts).



> Spoilers for chapter 239. I've been itching to do this since I first saw Tsubaki's adorable face. I hope you enjoy it, furiosity!

**1\. catch**

 

The sun was out and in full force when they trooped into the field, Bossun with a glove and a baseball in hand and Switch with can of iced coffee. Himeko followed, complaining all the while. She kicked at the mound and held her bundle closer.

"I'm telling you, it's too hot," she said.

"And I'm telling you, he's a kid, so he can deal with it," said Bossun.

"What are you, a slave driver," said Himeko. She held Tsubaki closer, to her breast, and Tsubaki wheezed. "Would you just look at him? He's flushed all over."

That may have had to do with having little breathing space in Himeko's vice grip, Switch and Bossun thought privately. Then they remembered they valued their lives and didn't want to get called out on stray thoughts, and pointedly looked away.

"Whatever," said Bossun. "Now let him go! He's not _that_ much of a weakling. I mean, he's half me, right?"

"If half you is an idiot, I worry about him," Himeko muttered, but let Tsubaki down. He tottered, in his first steps, and all of them made to catch him, aborted.

" _Bossun_ ," said Himeko, in the first throes of a fit.

"You're exaggerating," said Bossun. "It's fine! See?"

Tsubaki took a few plodding steps to Switch, reaching out for the drink in his hands. Switch raised it above his head, at Bossun's dirty look.

"Tsubaki," said Bossun, "come here, okay? I'll buy you milk later if you do."

 _Resorting to bribery to win the affection of a toddler_? Switch typed out, watching Tsubaki perk up at the prospect of a free drink. Bossun swatted him away.

"Okay, here's what we'll do," he said. He gave the ball to Tsubaki, who held it with wonder, in his cupped palm. Only a few years old and he'd had no recollection of it, or what it meant. "You throw this to me, and I catch it, right? Then we do it again until your arm falls off."

Tsubaki looked concerned, and not a bit perplexed. He looked at his arms and his alarm increased tenfold.

"Not literally," Bossun amended. Shit. He bent to match Tsubaki's height, all three and a half feet of it, and touched the top of his head, briefly. Something inside him came undone, and he smiled. Then the moment passed, and he scooted back, only a few feet away, but a great, interminable distance to Tsubaki, who quivered and clutched his prize.

"You can do it, kiddo," said Bossun, glove out and expectant, looking like he'd been waiting for this moment his entire life. "Come at me!"

Tsubaki looked at him. Then he looked at the ball. Then he looked at Himeko, who was apparently consulting (nagging, more like) Switch to look up the ill effects of heat strokes on children, at Bossun, who waited for him like this moment meant everything to him. He took a deep breath, and --

Tsubaki dropped the ball, and patted down the dirt off his knees. He wandered away, in search of water and less tiring amusements, and Bossun looked on, heartbroken.

 _I can see who the smart one is in the family_ , said Switch, and followed Tsubaki in case he tripped.

 

**2\. story time**

 

For a kid, Tsubaki was surprisingly complacent. He ate his fruits and vegetables (well, it was only really lychee and carrot sticks dipped in salad dressing, even if he did turn his nose up at the jellyace) and didn't fuss or clamber off people's laps when they wanted to cuddle him or suffocate him with hugs or just tell him a story.

If Bossun had his way, _Tsubaki would never turn back_.

"That's so cute," Himeko gushed. "That's so cute I think I'm gonna die."

 _OHOHOHOHO_ , Switch said, with perverse glee.

"I'm not sure he's into the story, though," said Himeko, thoughtfully. "Does it have enough pictures?"

Bossun gave her a withering look that spoke volumes of judgment. "It's _manga_ , what do you expect," said Bossun.

"Doesn't Tsubaki hate manga?"

Bossun and Switch looked horrified at the prospect, but then again, it was _Tsubaki_ , so they shrugged.

"I'm not reading him an atlas," said Bossun. "My little brother is not going to grow up as a dork."

"Too late," said Himeko, thinking of Tsubaki's t-shirts. His long-winded speeches. Everything.

"No atlases," said Bossun, firmly. He held Tsubaki closer, and waved the manga in his face. "You like this, right?"

Tsubaki dribbled jelly all over the pages. Switch and Bossun, open-mouthed, could make out no words to express their horror. Too young, and too cruel, and so ignorant of allowances wheedled out of parents. Himeko felt for them. Really, she did.

"No atlases, huh," said Himeko, and went off to find a fresh pack of wet wipes.

 

**3\. sentai shows**

 

No one was more excited than Bossun when Switch's torrents finally finished downloading, which was pretty sad, considering that Bossun already watched Sunday morning live actions with a fervency only matched by Switch when new merchandise was abound. Bossun copied all the trademark poses and memorized the signature lines, all while causing mayhem and destruction to the relative serenity of the club room. Himeko squawked, and Hosuke fluttered away, distressed. Switch may or may not have rolled his eyes behind his glasses, and promptly turned back to 2chan where everyone else was sane and laughed at stalkers instead of lived with them.

Tsubaki, predictably, took in everything with confusion. He didn't seem to understand what it was about the show that was exciting, and he kept making alarmed noises every time the hero beat up the bad guy of the week. No one, Tsubaki's face seemed to say, had any right to beat up octopi in the first stages of an identity crisis.

"I think he hates it, Bossun," said Himeko.

"What," said Bossun, flatly. "No brother of mine hates kamen rider. _No one_."

"I thought no brother of yours would grow up to be a dork," muttered Himeko.

Bossun opened his mouth to retort, except Tsubaki took that opportune moment to cock his head to the side, confused. "Oniichan?"

Clearly Tsubaki as a toddler was less inept than his older self when it came to handling Bossun. Bossun looked too overjoyed that Himeko began to wonder if she should call the cops on him. There had to be _something_ in the civil code that accounted for overenthusiastic family members.

"Alright, so maybe I can make an exception," said Bossun, hastily retrieving the remote from Switch's hands. "Do you want to go watch Doraemon instead, huh, little guy? And then we can go for ice cream later, what do you say?"

Tsubaki clapped his hands, not having any idea what Doraemon was but swept away by Bossun's enthusiasm. That, and the prospect of dessert.

 _What about Crayon Shin-chan_ , Switch suggested, stealing the remote and thoughtfully toying with his mouse.

Bossun and Himeko couldn't get it out of his hands fast enough.

 

**4\. bubbles**

 

"I kind of miss it," said Himeko, to Switch. "Tsubaki blowing up at Bossun every time, I mean."

 _I know the feeling_ , said Switch. Both of them were still partly creeped out by the sight of Tsubaki and Bossun getting along swimmingly, and were those camellias sprouting in the background or was that just Roman fluttering about in the background?

"Look, it's magic!" Bossun said, waving the bubble blower in his hand. Tsubaki looked more delighted at his motions than the bubbles that came out every time Bossun blew into it. He also looked like he wanted to see if he could get the bottle from Bossun and drink from its contents. Bossun valiantly did not. Give. In.

"No, it isn't," said Katou, loudly and hatefully from his perch on the tree.

"Don't ruin children's dreams, you wannabe ninja," said Bossun. "And shouldn't you be in the student council room doing whatever the hell it is you guys do in your spare time?"

"After you had to rush the President to the infirmary, I think not," said Katou.

"Oh, please, it was only a little vomit," said Bossun, shooing him away. "And it was Switch's fault for leaving his ink bottle where Tsubaki could reach it."

"That's irresponsible," Katou thundered. "You're supposed to keep an eye on him at all times and _not let him get killed_."

"He won't die from a little ink," said Bossun.

 _But from snapping his mouth at bubbles, he might_ , Switch put in.

" _What_ ," said Bossun and Katou, wild-eyed and clasping their hands over Tsubaki's mouth.

"Okay," said Himeko. " _We are never leaving him alone for longer than ten seconds_."

 

**5\. shopping**

 

"So remember how Switch said that, statistically speaking, a child gets lost in a mall every hour," said Himeko.

"What do you mean by that," said Katou, slowly.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I LOST MY BROTHER," Bossun sobbed into the water fountain.

"Uh," said Himeko, "nothing. Nothing at all."

 

**6\. origami**

 

"No," said Bossun, frowning, "this is how you do it."

He made to lunge at the art paper in Tsubaki's tiny fist, but Tsubaki recoiled and crumpled the paper in his hand, thoughtlessly. Tsubaki looked at his fingers, dismayed.

"Oh shit," said Bossun, his hands fluttering, panicked, in the air, "oh shit, don't cry!"

"Don't curse in front of your baby brother," Himeko yelled back, swooping forward to scoop Tsubaki in her arms. Tsubaki made a token effort to resist, but scrunched his face up at the loss of his crane. "QUICK, MAKE A NEW ONE."

"THERE'S NO MORE PAPER," said Bossun. He looked almost heartbroken at Tsubaki's distress, the tight quivering of his lip, his jaw slack as he stared at Bossun like he blamed him for his troubles.

 _What a bad brother_ , said Switch.

"This is all your fault, you know," said Bossun. "If you hadn't wasted all that paper trying to get Roman to draw you doujin, we wouldn't be having this problem."

 _Actually, if Chuuma-sensei hadn't left that bottle_ , Switch began, but Katou had mercy on Himeko's growing migraine and closed the lid of Switch's laptop.

"How long are you going to continue this farce," Katou growled out. "Change him back _now_."

"You say that like you don't find him adorable," said Himeko, bringing Tsubaki's teary-eyed face up against her cheek.

"That's highly irrelevant," said Katou, fumbling for words. "Now if you would just let him go to sleep --"

 _He's just embarrassed_ , said Switch, by way of explanation to Saaya, who was, by now, wondering what on earth she was doing in the club room watching her sempai go gaga over Tsubaki like her brother did when she was still a grade schooler. Er.

Tsubaki sniffled a little, still mourning his crane. Katou looked ready to bolt to the art club to beg for paper, at least, if Bossun didn't beat him to it first.

"I think I have some left in my bag," Saaya said, sighing.

 

**Omake:**

 

"And after that, Bossun made you a life-sized model of a gundam _out of paper_ and you stomped all over it like the clumsy kid that you were," said Himeko. Bossun was still moping, in the corner of the club room. Katou had his arms folded over his chest, pointedly keeping his face blank instead of openly mocking Bossun's pain.

"That's ridiculous," Tsubaki protested. "Nothing like that happened at all."

"It really did," said Saaya, sympathetically. "Just go ask Switch. He has the pictures to prove it."

"I'm done with all of you making fun of me," said Tsubaki, glaring at all of them. All. Of. Them. "If anyone needs me, I will be contemplating my life in the student council room and assessing if I can make a good case to get your club booted for good."

"Heartless," Himeko crowed.

"Whatever," said Tsubaki. "See you later, oniichan." He clapped a hand over his mouth, horrified.

"What," said Bossun, slowly rising from his pit of despair.

"What," said Tsubaki.

"Did you just call me --"

"NOTHING HAPPENED," said Tsubaki. "GOODBYE."

" _I will never let you live this down_ ," Bossun promised.

He really didn't.


End file.
